Secret Wars V

Secret Wars V shall be the fifth tournament in the illustrious Secret Wars series.

As usual over the last E I G H T tournaments of this series, the rules of play, contestants, and term rules shall remain consistent and steady as the past eight years. If only that fucking Twix bar guy knew what he was getting himself into when he made those maps.

Exactly as expected of Pieck Jack, he has a batch of movies and television show episodes for Beecher, while Beecher is likely picking a sequel to a hit video game (guh huh). The tournament writeup will follow the event, which will take place on June 8th, 2022.

Secret Wars V (aka Gelocity VIII) occurred on June 8th, 2022 as scheduled. Jack took off to an early lead, winning the first map, and very nearly won the second if not for an unfortunate death on his end. Beecher then clutched the third map to secure the first set. The second set started the same as the first: like rhyming poetry, Jack won the first game, and lost the second in an extremely close finish. However, this time around, it was Jack who would close out the third map and secure the second set.

The sets were tied 1-1 and the games were tied 3-3, and it all came down to the third set. For a third and final time, Jack won on the first map, and Beecher just barely won the second map. As a quick side note, Jack secured 100,000 steps in Portal 2 co-op at around this point, and Beecher 170k (he played a lot of co-op in 2011 okay?). For the first time in years probably, Gelocity was down to a final deciding game, on to the infamous third map.

Mistakes were made by both players, and at the final stretch of the final lap, they were more or less tied. On the final turn, Beecher risked it all and jumped a corner, gaining him what amounted to mere pixels of a lead. "Blue wins" flashed on the screen, and if it hadn't, the game probably would have been declared a tie. The closest Gelocity of all time was over. Now, in addition to Beecher's childhood favorite game, Jack would also have to give another go at a game by one of his favorite developers. Meanwhile Beecher will watch a regularly scheduled movie pack + a TV show about rich assholes. Ear movie dodged yet again.

Until Secret Wars VI: The Search for Radix. And a midterm before that maybe idk